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September 23, 2021 - Tired

There may be times when we have been hurt, when we are tired, and when our lives seem dark and cold. There may be times when we cannot see any light on the horizon, and we may feel like giving up. If we are willing to believe, if we desire to believe, if we choose to believe, then the Savior’s teachings and example will show us the pathway forward.

L. Whitney Clayton, "Choose to Believe", General Conference, April 2015

Years ago, I let myself become spiritually weak, not that I'm super strong today, but my priorities have shifted and I'm trying to focus more on Christ today, but anyway, I was tired spiritually, or rather just lazy. And physically I was healthy and capable of doing anything (not that always tried though).

Today, it's the opposite. Spiritually I'm more willing but physically I am tired, or rather, fatigued, even when I sleep well. And that makes it difficult to NOT be lazy. Lazy when it comes to bettering myself physically (exercise) and also bettering myself spiritually (reading). I have to exert a lot of energy, energy that doesn't come in spades, to do anything (like just shower) and sometimes I just don't want to.

So I am constantly experimenting on the word of God, where He says that all I have to do is "desire" to believe and He will carry me forward to a better self. He gives me the energy and motivation to do those things when, frankly, I'm just too tired to do them.

I count on Him carrying me. I need Him to carry me. My desire to do those little things is rather strong but my motivation to put in the requisite effort for those little things lacking. I cannot do this alone.

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