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October 23, 2021 - Don't Compare

When scientists analyze people who appear to have tremendous self-control, it turns out those individuals aren’t all that different from those who are struggling. Instead, “disciplined” people are better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self-control. In other words, they spend less time in tempting situations.

James Clear, "Atomic Habits", Penguin Random House, October 2019

I appreciate this statement tremendously. I tend to compare my life with that of others. I know I shouldn't, but, nevertheless, I do. Afterall, it's a natural thing to do....something else to overcome, of course.

When I look at others and see them reaching their goals and being successful, I get a bit discouraged because I am struggling with reaching mine, although I'm happy for them, of course. I'm not envious of them, I'm frustrated with myself.

So it's comforting to know that I don't need better, or more, willpower....I need better focus on how I get to my goals, or systems, in the first place. Where and how do I spend my time? Am I making the positive things obvious and appealing, while making the negative invisible? Am I making the positive things easy enough so that I even want to do them? And then make them rewarding and satisfying when I do complete them?

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