I ask myself often, “What’s wrong with me? Why is this so hard?” But in a gift of grace to myself, I am now telling myself that just because it’s hard doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. Just because our progress is slow doesn’t mean we’re not trying.
Julianne Donaldson, "Come, Sweet Day", Deseret Book 2021
All my life I've been, as they say, hard on myself. I've always expected the best from me and when I didn't deliver on that, I would think less of myself. I've always known that I have tremendous potential (as we all do because we all have the same opportunity for eternal life), and when I fall short of that potential, well, I don't take it well.
At least I didn't in the past.
I've shifted my focus from the abilities and potential that I can't reach to the abilities and the potential that I can get to. I've always believed, and I still believe, that I can do anything I want to do, to reach whatever heights I want to reach.
My problem is not my belief, it is my motivation. It's because I'm too, I don't want to say lazy, even though sometimes I feel that way, it's because I'm unmotivated to put in the sufficient work it takes to reach that level that I desire to get to. But I know that when I reach that level, there will be another, and another one. It may seem daunting but I as I look behind me, I will see that I'm that much higher and my ultimate goal is that much closer.
Satan is very good at keeping me from doing the things I know I need to do. And it's from studying scriptures and praying regularly to eating the right foods and exercising. Temptation is not just spiritual. Temptation is whatever keeps me from rising upwards.
So whenever I feel unmotivated to put in the required work, it's because Satan is keeping me pinned down. I try to remember that and my perspective changes.